HOW CAN I WATCH THIS SHIT? Part I

No matter how hard I try, I cannot stop watching television. No matter how many times I sit there and say, "What the fuck have we become", I still tune in night after night. It's too powerful. Either that or I'm just a big, stupid dick. I always hear people talk about t.v. as if it were a poison and I completely understand where they're coming from. On many accounts, I actually agree with them but I can't stop watching. There are so many good shows . . . like Maury. You watch Maury, right? That show is the shit. My wife records it on the DVR everyday and they don't just play one episode. No. Fuck that. They play two in a row and then a couple of hours later . . . THEY PLAY TWO MORE! Maury knows we can't get enough of his show. Day after day of paternity tests and crushed hopes, it's great. It doesn't matter where you're from or how you grew up, when you watch Maury you laugh, you cry, you smile when you find that renewed sense of hope and then you ask, "How the fuck are we the species that controls everything?" If you get the chance, watch the Maury show, let all of the information that you've gained sink in and then picture our president sitting on stage between maury and some angry bitch waiting for those child support checks to come rolling in. He fits right in! We're fucked!