My Long Awaited Response

It's been quite some time since a friend of mine shared a comment made to him by someone within his inner circle of trusted folks. The whole story has actually kept me up at night...here and there. I really wanted to offer words of wisdom but I was so irate at the time, the only words that would come out were those of the four letter variety and just a whole lot of tough, New York slang. It really bothers me when I know that the situation calls for some fine advice delivered in poetic fashion and all that comes out is, "Yeah, fuck that asshole. He's a sack of shit anyway." We've got to be coming up on six or seven months since that night and I knew that, one day before my demise, I would find the right words to respond to what was said.

My friend, like me, is an artist. Musician, writer, actor, painter...whatever. The comment made was based on the fact that my friend has not hit "the big time" yet. Meanwhile, other people within the circle of friends have made quite the name for themselves. One of these people played a character in a movie some years ago and I'll put money on the fact that if you mention the character's name to anyone between the ages of sixteen and fifty, they'll know exactly who you are talking about. Half of those people will know the actor's real name and half of those people will call themselves a "big fan". Like I stated, I really had nothing of substance to say at the time I was told. I guess I needed the better part of a year to come up with something that satisfied my pride.

Here it is. Our friend who made himself a star and can't walk down the street without being hassled, gave up something. It's nice that he still rakes in cash from his role and it has led to more work, we're all genuinely happy for him but what does he carry around with him now? Here's my point. Every artist starts out somewhere. For me, it was a basement on Long Island when I sat down behind a drum set for the first time. The initial passion came from the basic need for attention. A lot of artists are going to rip into me but be honest, whether you act, sing, paint, shit in public...the first step is screaming, "Look at me!" If you didn't have that egotistic outlook, you wouldn't be doing this. I don't care how much of a shy guy Kurt Cobain was. He wrote music then he recorded that music and then he sold that music. If he didn't know what he was getting into when he signed the independant record deal, he sure as shit knew by the time he signed with a major label and released "NEVERMIND". Without the balls to want to show everyone what you can do and perform; that's a key word here, PERFORM; you don't chase the dream. Period. End of story. You never get on that stage or in front of that camera or sit in front of a blank canvas. I don't care how noble and deep you are. You do this because you know you're good enough to be recognized.

Now, I'm not saying that this simple human fault is all there is. Absolutley not. Once you've gone a decent way down the rabbit hole and have learned some pretty cool tricks and technique, it becomes more about the art and the growth one goes through as the artist. When you're young, you look at the great artists and think, "I wanna be there. I can do that." Visualizing a snap shot filled walk down the red carpet or tossing your drum sticks to the loving audience. After some time and maturation, that's maturation you sicko, you view the greats as the standard when it comes to technique, growth and the level of mastery in your respective craft. As a drummer I am in awe, absolute awe, of men like Danny Carey and Narada Michael Walden. As a writer it's all about Hunter Thompson, Neil Simon and Kerouac. Just like all my actor friends have their greats. Deniro, Brando, Day Lewis, etc. You view your heroes as a measuring stick. It's not about the money anymore. Sure it would be great to make a living writing for stage and screen. Overall that is the goal but once you die there isn't anything measured in terms of monetary wealth or fame. If I cross over and there's any mention of money, I'll be fighting my way back.

This is what our famous friend can't claim anymore. Not one aspiring artist will look back and say, "Hey, that guy really brought it. I wanna be like that." He will not be a measuring stick and he won't be recognized as he recognized his heroes. Now keep in mind that this person is quite talented and has done a few things which are well deserved of a strong applause but remember the initial comment made. It had everything to do with money, fame and stature within the entertainment industry and nothing to do with talent. My friend who was the recipient of the comment has worked until he was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted to grow as an artist. There is no limit, and he's proved this, to how far he'll go to become the one that is looked at as the standard, the measuring stick, the hero. He never folded and took the money for work that would compromise his integrity and on one or two occasions, a stroke of shit luck took a great opportunity and squashed it. It's never about the money. If it was, you'd all know him by now and would probably be sick of him.

Regarding our famous friend, I'm not calling him a sell out. As a matter of fact, he's far from it. He was approached with an opportunity and he grabbed it with both hands and ran with it. That's what you do. At no point do I think he stays awake, in bed, flustered about his decision. If he does, he shouldn't. He furthered his career and kept the ball rolling which is a boat load more than I can say for other artists.

It is a thin line one walks between self respect and success. Especially in this business. I believe there are more artists who work for the love of it rather than the paycheck but most of the time it appears to be just that. All you can do is trudge along, never stop paying attention to what's worth your attention and remember you are just a part of the whole. There's always more to learn.