JUST LOOK AT THE MAP!!!

How is Staten Island not considered to be in New Jersey? HUH!!! It's right there. Take a look. There's less space between S.I. and Jersey than between S.I. and Brooklyn. All you have to do is take a spill off of the jagged rocks of Staten, float face down for four to seven minutes and you wash up on the lovely shores of scenic Perth Amboy. They even look the same. When you're driving across S.I. and cross into Jersey, you can't tell. It's the same land and everything. They smell the same too. You know, that combination of regret and poor judgement. If it looks like Jersey and smells like Jersey and is a whole lot closer to Jersey than New York then it's gotta be Jersy. Right? Of course not. I guess I'm just a big dick. Even the people in Jersey say, "Hey! That's ours!" and then try to throw lassos around it to pull it closer. Here's another point that supports my argument: The Verrazano Bridge. To cross the Goethals Bridge, which connects S.I. to Jersey, its true home, you pay six bucks. To cross the Verazzano, which connects Brooklyn and S.I., you pay nine bucks. NINE DOLLARS TO CROSS A BRIDGE!!! Why not ask for a collection of my pubic hair and three left toes of your choice? Maybe a good 'ol recatl exam and bitch slapping would suffice. How the hell can you justify charging people nine dollars to cross a bridge that keeps you in the same state? For nine dollars I better get some sort of gift when I reach the other side, like the Cup of Christ or a whistle or something.