HOW CAN I WATCH THIS SHIT? Part III

Along side Maury there is one other show I can't get enough of, World's Wildest Police Chases. Have you seen this shit? HOLY GOD! They show you asshole after asshole drive 100 mph straight into a tree. And the host, John Bunnell, I'd like to nominate him for saint-hood. I love it when he stands there all strong and shit while they act out an arrest behind him during his intro to the next clip. I couldn't do that. You know you're a real hard hitting son-of-a-bitch when you can walk through an arrest in progress and not even stumble with your lines. Well, maybe it's not that hard. If you've seen the show, 95% of the clips are from Macon County, Georgia. I'm serious. That's how I know Macon County is the biggest collection of badasses in the history of the world. Every single video starts out with, "Here in macon County, Georgia". Now that I think of it, his lines are the same for every single clip. It goes like this: " Here in Macon County, Georgia this perpetrator has decided to run from police. What he doesn't know is that this officer is a real great driver." He should change it up a bit, every now and then. Maybe something like this would work: "Here in Macon County, Georgia this drunken mullet on wheels has desided to take his uncledad's pick-up for a ride around the farm but what he doesn't know is . . . I'm banging his wife!" Then they cut to a live feed of John Bunnell doggin' that bitch from the back. Or how about this: "Here in Macon County, Georgia a normal traffic stop has turned into a high speed pursuit. The fact that this criminal has failed to realize is . . . that there's a small, bearded man wearing a pine cone hat in his back seat, waving a bloody hatchet above his head." That would freshen things up a bit. No? Oh, ok.