More Questions

For those of you just joining us, and judging by the amount of comments I'll be entertaining myself for a while, please refer to the previous posts so that you aren't lost.

#8 Q: A customer comes to you in one section of the store with product from a different section. What should you ask that customer?

A: I would ask them if they were truly an asshole or if it's just a game that they play. Then I'd swiftly pull a raw hide from my pouch.

#9 Q: You're walking by the front of the store and the security gates go off. What do you do?

A: A vast series of aerobic techinique that will show everyone what I'm capable of.

#10 Q: You see a customer in our Movie section and realize that he has been there for a while. How do you handle this?

A: I'd spread my arms and become an airplane. I would circle the man and notify him that he's standing exactly where I have to land. Then I'd start making a shitty alarm noise and make like there's trouble with the aircraft as I crash into him sending us both to the floor.

#11 Q: It's your scheduled break and you intend on leaving the building. What is the procedure?

A: The procedure is to quickly run to the front doors and tell everyone to go get fucked.

#12 Q: Who belongs in our stockrooms?

A: Mer-man.

#13 Q: You see a customer pocket and item. What should you do?

A: I would manhandle them to no end, forcing them to join myself and Rip Torn at yet another screening for Rip's independant film, "El Curio And The Scratchcock".