Sometimes you can't help yourself

As I was sitting quietly, eyeing my movie collection while my daughter wathced her 53rd consecutive episode of "Let's See How Long Until Dad Flushes His Head Down The Toilet", I noticed that I have one or two questionable selections in my cinema library. I then moved to my rather large music selection and found quite a few more. These pieces of work that I gladly spent money on (sometimes) are nothing more than guilty pleasures. When viewed by a friend, my movie and music collections are met with raucous applause and sometimes a high five. Obviously, the titles in question were either overlooked or just brushed aside with a strong pity and never mentioned. I, however, will call my lame ass out right now.

When asked, I will gladly provide the movies and musical artists that have helped shape my life and growth as a musician and writer. I must say, no one has ever argued any of my top picks. They change in order from time to time but the big ones are always mentioned. In cinema, it's major influential movies like The Godfather, Shawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Brave Heart, Saving Private Ryan. With music, it's Tool, Deftones, Miles Davis, Notorious BIG. The music picks are always scrutinized by old, angry folks. The same self righteous mopes that claim all of the musical artists worth mentioning debuted before the eighties. Neglecting bands like Metallica, U2, REM and an entire genre called RAP that, just in case you haven't noticed, is the top selling genre of music since the new millenium began.

I've always been proud of the list that makes up the people and the work that has blown my hair back throughout the years but I've discovered a few...not as strong examples of what I enjoy listening to and watching. My dvd rack is chock full of awesomeness. Indeed, I have alphebetized each title, because I'm half pecker head, and the first couple of movies are American Beauty, American Gangster and Anchorman. This fine pattern continues through most of the rack but there is one glaring choice that has me questioning my dignity. "The Chronicles Of Riddick". I know this is a top pick for many comic book fanatics, but when analyzing this movie, it becomes hard to find the strengths in it. BUT I WILL ALWAYS WATCH IT WHEN IT'S ON! Can't get enough of it as a matter of fact. I don't care how corny it is. I don't care how many times my wife asks me if I'll be engaging in a "Dungeons and Dragons" orgy afterwards while wearing my King Limpdick crown and holding a staff that resembles my poor judgement, I will be more than happy to view this feature film over and over again.

Another guilty pleasure when it comes to film...Airborne. That stupid ass movie about the SOCAL kid who moves to Cincinatti for a school year and has difficulty blending in and gains everyone's trust and respect by rollerblading. I've eyed my bottle of painkillers while watching this movie, thinking that there is no turning back so I might aswell ghost myself. A friend of mine claims that "Groundhog Day" is his but I actually think that is a legitimate movie to like. Mine all suck and are a source of great shame.

My musical selections that cause an eyebrow raise are just as bad. Limp Bizkit...need I say more. This band single handedly killed a genre, or sub-genre, whatever you want to call it. The whole rap-core movement was crushed when the singer of the band that was supposedly in the forefront proved to be cheesier than a Green Bay, Wisconsin bowel movement. Weak lyrics (sorry Fred) and he got played by Christina Aguilera in front of the whole world. We all cringed when we saw the horrible, awkward interaction between them at a photo shoot. Limp Bizkit's music, I will always stand by. I genuinely think it's pretty bad ass but the vocals make me hope that no one can tell I'm listening to Limp Bizkit in my car.

Filter is another band that is featured on my ipod. One or two songs from their first three albums have made the cut despite the fact that during each chorus I step back, look at myself and can't help but think I'm challenged in some way. I had the terrible misfortune of catching them live many years ago and it became readily apparent that all the effects a studio can provide to enhance the sound of one man's voice were all exhausted while recording a Filter album. Now, ask if, when I'm making one of my patented play lists on my ipod if I neglect to put, at least, one Filter song...NOPE! "American Cliche" is my favorite and I make pee pees in my pants whenever it's on. I always fail to mention that I listen to Filter when I'm in the company of musician friends. It may or may not be fun to get ridiculed and bitch slapped in Brooklyn.

I have quickly grown to love this fault. This type of evidence can and will be used against me in a court of coolness and decency but I embrace the guilty charge. I believe stuff like this keeps one balanced. Everyone can use a touch of cheese in their life and by all means, say it loud and say it proud. It's ok, even Jesus had days like this.