We all know what the word is on our leadership around here and I love talking shit about them. Nothing pleases me more than to talk a Bush lover into submission. However, I have been told many times that, "This is America. Love it or leave it." This always stalls my verbal bombardment. Should I leave? Really. Should I pack my shit and head elswhere. I suppose I could go Canadian and just look down every now and then with a hearty laugh thanks to the FREE HEALTH CARE I'd be getting.
After I'm told to leave by these submissive, red-neck, red state, authority loving mofo's, I always go into deep thought. Should I leave? I complain about this country enough. It's war, it's cover ups, it's non-seperation of church and state. I think long and hard about this issue. I always come to the same conclusion.
NO!!! My fat ass is staying where it is. I'm staying and there's nothing you bitches can do about it. I'm gonna stick around and see if I can help this place get back to the ways that made it great. Think about it. We're all here because this is where you go to make your dreams come true. If, back in the day, the American slogan was, " America . . . Fuck Yo Mama!" all our ancestors would've stayed home.
Unfortunately we get to deal with this regime that apparently wants this country to head into a fascist state. So there. it's settled. I'll stay and fight the good fight. Who's with me? Oh . . . wait a minute . . . there's a group of really white guys in JC Penney suits outside my window. I gotta go.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Heaven Holds the Faithful Departed
People come and go. Am I right? Your friends, family members, the people you work with, the mail man . . . It's a revolving door. Sometimes it hurts. I just lost someone who meant a lot. It wasn't a surprise, we all saw it coming. But it still stung a a little when I got the call just before dinner.
She was someone who lit up the room before she even walked in. The type of person who made you a better human being just by standing next to you. Of all the people I know who complain, she was the only one who really deserved to . . . but she never did. So why are we?
I understand the period of grief and the mourning and the asking "WHY?" but realize one thing . . . There is no more suffering. They moved on. As far as I'm concerned it's the next step, not the end. The body that held the person you love is just a small fraction of them. It's just the physical part. What we love about this woman still exists. We just can't experience it the way we did. As humans, we're not wired that way. And it's a shame we can't celebrate someone's life when they've died.
"We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion." - Maynard James Keenan
In Loving Memory of my Godmother MARION PICCOLO
She was someone who lit up the room before she even walked in. The type of person who made you a better human being just by standing next to you. Of all the people I know who complain, she was the only one who really deserved to . . . but she never did. So why are we?
I understand the period of grief and the mourning and the asking "WHY?" but realize one thing . . . There is no more suffering. They moved on. As far as I'm concerned it's the next step, not the end. The body that held the person you love is just a small fraction of them. It's just the physical part. What we love about this woman still exists. We just can't experience it the way we did. As humans, we're not wired that way. And it's a shame we can't celebrate someone's life when they've died.
"We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion." - Maynard James Keenan
In Loving Memory of my Godmother MARION PICCOLO
Saturday, September 1, 2007
... And More Questions
#14 Q: The security gates go off and the customer who was walking through them at the time comes back to you at the register. What do you do?
A: I'd offer to shake hands and when they took the bait I'd drag them over the counter. Once on my side of the counter it's that much easier to show them my appreciation for timid folk.
#15 Q: You're at the Information desk looking up product that a customer would like specially ordered. You notice that there is a price discrepancy. What do you tell the customer and why is there a discrepancy?
A: I'd notify them that they smell like bear shit and suggest that they step back. Then I'd say, "There isn't really a discrepancy but you can go fuck yourself anyway."
#16 Q: What is the return policy?
A: If you're willing to subject yourself to a full day of tedious, back-breaking yard work at my parent's house then we'll take back the product. If not, then you better make could with the hands.
#17 Q: In what way are specially orderd items different than our regular stock items? What's our return policy regarding these items and how do we ensure that the customers both know and agree with this policy?
A: Specially ordered items are different because they come from the docks. For the return policy, see my asshole for details. We ensure that the customers know and agree with this policy by firing threatening letters through their windows during din-din.
#18 Q: When you're bringing at item to work, something that we normally carry, what is the procedure?
A: The procedure is to midget dance my way from one end of the parking lot to the other.
#19 Q: What do you do with returned product?
A: Me and my dad bang bitches.
#20 Q: Someone comes to you with a return but doesn't have their receipt. What do you ask for and what do you check?
A: I'd ask for their phone number because that's actual procedure then once I have it, I'd call their home to check if anyone was there. If someone answers, I'd mention Pimp Pilgrim and how he can help. If I get the answering machine, I would simply inform them of the fire that is soon to come. During all this the customer will be looking at me with shock, in which case I'd poke them in the eye and when they got back to sorts I would be in black face.
There it is. The questionnaire that led to 8 yeras of me bossing pople around and being responsible for a shit load of money. Well done.
A: I'd offer to shake hands and when they took the bait I'd drag them over the counter. Once on my side of the counter it's that much easier to show them my appreciation for timid folk.
#15 Q: You're at the Information desk looking up product that a customer would like specially ordered. You notice that there is a price discrepancy. What do you tell the customer and why is there a discrepancy?
A: I'd notify them that they smell like bear shit and suggest that they step back. Then I'd say, "There isn't really a discrepancy but you can go fuck yourself anyway."
#16 Q: What is the return policy?
A: If you're willing to subject yourself to a full day of tedious, back-breaking yard work at my parent's house then we'll take back the product. If not, then you better make could with the hands.
#17 Q: In what way are specially orderd items different than our regular stock items? What's our return policy regarding these items and how do we ensure that the customers both know and agree with this policy?
A: Specially ordered items are different because they come from the docks. For the return policy, see my asshole for details. We ensure that the customers know and agree with this policy by firing threatening letters through their windows during din-din.
#18 Q: When you're bringing at item to work, something that we normally carry, what is the procedure?
A: The procedure is to midget dance my way from one end of the parking lot to the other.
#19 Q: What do you do with returned product?
A: Me and my dad bang bitches.
#20 Q: Someone comes to you with a return but doesn't have their receipt. What do you ask for and what do you check?
A: I'd ask for their phone number because that's actual procedure then once I have it, I'd call their home to check if anyone was there. If someone answers, I'd mention Pimp Pilgrim and how he can help. If I get the answering machine, I would simply inform them of the fire that is soon to come. During all this the customer will be looking at me with shock, in which case I'd poke them in the eye and when they got back to sorts I would be in black face.
There it is. The questionnaire that led to 8 yeras of me bossing pople around and being responsible for a shit load of money. Well done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)